February 28, 2015badfish

Weekly Photo Challenge: REWARD

Rice Paddy View while creating blog in Bali 0012SM
Rice Paddy View while creating blog in Bali

 Tenacity, Diligence, Persistence, Patient: Nobody uses these words to describe me. I’m your original poster child for ADD. I’m pretty sure I actually have ADD. I read an article once years ago that described the symptoms. I had every single one. I literally never took a nap when I was a child. My mother gave up trying to force me, said I could play with my cars and cowboys under the covers, but had to be quiet and stay in bed. Still, doctors have no real method of diagnosing ADD, so maybe I don’t have it. Anyone can get “distracted.” Anyone can lose “patience.” Anyone can “fidget.” Anyone can “forget” shit.

 When someone asks “what sign are you,” most people know enough about astrology to answer Libra or Pisces, or whatever you are. But do you know your “Enneagram of Personality” numbers? Enneagrams describe nine personality types. I’m a “4” with a “5” wing. A wing is like a sub-type personality, which also describes you, similar to the way an astrological sign on the “cusp” unites the combination of two signs, perhaps.

I’m a Libra, and despite their concept of a scale for balancing, most Libras are not balanced. Libras may be the most unbalanced people because they are always “weighing” both sides of everything. Need to make a quick decision—don’t ask a Libra for help. An Enneagram 4-type personality is called an “Individualist.” I can relate. Their “ego fixation” is “fantasizing.” Their “basic fear” is to be “insignificant.” Their “basic desire” is to be “uniquely themselves.” Their “vice” is “envy.” The Enneagram chart explains way more to me than being a Libra ever did. But in neither of these systems am I described as someone who persists with something until it’s completed, or who works at something long enough to become a true master of it. Jack of all trades, master of…well…not quite.

Take photography for instance: I learned enough about f-stops and depth of field (until someone decided to change the name to bokeh) and shutter speeds and lighting to capture one good shot out of 50 or so. I learned enough about writing to know the five basic proper uses of a comma and what a subordinating conjunction is. But I simply stopped learning about…well, everything, after a certain point. I don’t know how to post edit a photograph, never used Light Room. Bought a book to learn Photoshop, never even opened it, and it was not cheap. Now the version of PS in that book is old and doesn’t match the version I have on my computer (which I’ve also never even opened).

For a very long time now, I’ve been telling people, and myself, that I am writing a book. I have the beginnings of at least four different books right here on this MacBook Pro. Various sections all neatly organized under different titles. But I simply will not sit down and finish one. ADD? Fear of failure? DNA?

For years, I resisted social media and writing a blog, because at first I thought it was unprofessional, perhaps even childish. I still think (no matter its power) that Face Book is childish, but I do now understand the allure. I wanted a publisher to like my work, and buy it as a book. But first, you have to write a book. I haven’t. You want to see all my notes and notebooks, all my sections and chapters—that, I can show you. One completed piece of work, no.

Then, I decided I would write a blog (took me two years to finally do it, couldn’t decide on a theme, or a name). I created my blog sitting near a rice paddy in Bali, wrote my first post (to see if it worked), and the next day I began Word Press’ Blogging 101 course. I did everything asked in the 101 course in a timely, and disciplined, manner. I was hot: I wrote, I photographed, I changed my About Page, added a widget. And yet the part of me that never finishes things has not allowed me to understand a number of things about the blog, and blogging. I don’t get the “List” in the Reader. I don’t get the Reader. I don’t get how to search for people. I’m not even sure I understand the difference between tagging a post and categorizing it. Does a “category” work like a tag in the cyber realm, and bring searchers to your site? SEO…really? And jwtf is the difference between a pingback and adding a link to a blog?

So I’m now finished with the Blogging 101 course, and I’m still posting on a fairly regular basis. I’m entering photo challenges, and writing a post to accompany them. I’m freaking blogging, man. Even if I am no expert on the how’s and why’s of all things bloggy. I’m blogging, and I’m not only clicking the “Like” button, I’m actually liking other people’s blogs, photos, words. And telling them so in comments. I’m even making cyber friends, which—I’m going to be brutally honest here—not long ago, I believed was unbelievably lame. Six months ago, I could not have imagined I’d be writing a post telling you this stuff. Things change. People grow. Perception is never static.

If you’ve read this far, you might be wondering what my reward might be. My reward is my new logo. Created, or rather remodeled, by a blogger I recently met while commenting. I can’t really call her a friend, but it sort of feels that way. Her site is Quantum Hermit (how cool is that), and her name is Fimnora (even cooler) and her About Page is called Fim Noir (even more cooler!). My site, as you know or can see, is called Badfish Out of Water. My logo is that goofy clownfish with sunglasses, “bad” enough for government work. But I wanted something…a tad badder. But not like a shark. Not that kind of bad. Rhythm and blues bad, not killer whale bad. In a series of comments with Fim, we joked about adding a stash and soul patch and tattoos or earring. Turns out, Fim can do all that. And so she did. And now my logo is one badass fish you just might not want to mess with…unless you’re carrying a tambourine.

Really Bad Badfish
Really Bad Badfish

I’m not sure I deserve this reward. But I did do everything required in blogging to make it happen. And I’m almost ashamed to say, I have not been this psyched (dating myself?) about writing in a very long time. And I’m actually finishing pieces, not just revising the living crap out of one until it’s sterile. And I’ve even learned to slightly post edit a photo in a very basic way. So thank you, God and Word Press Happiness Engineers. And especially thank you…all you bloggers, who now motivate me. Wait a minute…F-ing-A…is that a light at the end of that tunnel?

Rice Paddy View while creating blog in Bali 0012SM

Find other challengers and information here:  Reward

51 comments

  1. Grinning from ear to ear. It’s fun isn’t it?! I’ve made lots of online friends. Obviously you will too. Oh how far you have come. Congratulations!
    I love your new logo. Badass indeed, but I’m not afraid to mess wit you 🙂
    Oh and by the way why are we not in your interesting blogs list????????? 🙂
    Alison

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    • Yeah, I’m actually quite shaken up by how interested I am in doing the blog thing. And amazed that when I sit to write a post, it actually happens! Bad indeed. I think you should have a rabbit with a time piece and wearing a soul patch, barbed wire arm tattoo.
      As for the “interesting blogs”, those are the people I’m following. And apparently there is only room for so many, and the newest ones are there and the older ones are lost somewhere in cyberville. You guys did appear there just after I followed you that second time. The “like-minded community” follow me, and you can find a footloose Don still there.

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    • Thanks Debbie. Sometimes the oddest things motivate us in the oddest ways, eh? Good luck finishing your stuff. Much of mine is hard copy filling a couple dozen loose-leaf binders, created before computers made sense.

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    • Right…you got that right…a bad badfish. Some of those other people think the logo is “cute.” NOT. It’s, just as you say, bad! Thanks again 😉

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  5. LOL on your new logo tho I must admit I REALLY like the one that pops up with your replies 🙂 Congrats on your enthusiasm for blogging. Maybe one day just add all your posts in one place and convert them to a book 0- Blurb even has a format for it. Then you’ll have written a book without even trying!!!

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    • Glad you like the new look. And yeah, I’m completely amazed at how much I “want” to be doing this blog thing. I have never been so motivated to write, or actually do something with all these photos collecting dust. I have heard of people who make their blog posts into books. Never heard of O-Blurb, but I’ll check it out. Thanks for hanging out here.

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  6. You, my first Fim Fan, are one seriously funny dude! And this was a truly amazing post, and I’m honored to be mentioned in it! I didn’t need to leave my house, to go on an adventure through your words! Deal with it, dude… you’re a blogger. I had to stand up in front of the B.U.101 and admit it. I’ll be your sponsor if you need one… Addiction is some kinda wonderful, long as its not to some of the more dangerous kinds of things, and I’m thinking blogging doesn’t rank anywhere near that list of danger.

    Careful, this reply might turn into a book (and I’ve never published my decades of written stuff – except for a couple of interviews, but that’s another story, for another time).

    So let me get to my point.

    What an outstanding photo up top. That’s a rice paddy view? Really? Of course I couldn’t know that since, well, I’ve never seen one. But that variegated (is that a word?) plant is gorgeous! I want one. Do you think it’ll survive sub-zero weather?

    ADD… There’s a song I’ve had in my top 10 (maybe) called, “Sail” by AWOLnation.
    Everything you described, like you said, is pretty much something that everyone goes through. Reading makes me think I have it. But I’m cool with that, if so.

    I clicked the link for the Enneagram Institute… I’m interested to see what it says. Just because. I’ll let you know what my number is. I rather enjoy dissecting my brain. Not sure how it feels though.
    You said, “in neither of these systems am I described as someone who persists with something until it’s completed, or who works at something long enough to become a true master of it.” That made me think of how I’ve moved around (not like traveling so much as, lived here and there), and I used to wonder, what’s up with that? And then one day I concluded – for the moment – that’s just the way it is. Chill – on the mental/emotion – aka ‘don’t sweat the small, is that the big stuff?’ You just have to ask yourself, do you want to be a master? A Jack of all Trades, actually gives you freedom. Just saying.

    Oh, one more thought. You said, now you’re finished Blogging 101 (did you take it in February?) TBC after you let me know.

    GAH! I’m rambling.

    Truly, man… outstanding post, and congrats!

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    • Addicted…indeed. You are my sponsor! Sat down to see what was what…it’s an hour later. Better than TV, though. Glad you liked the post, and yes, it’s a rice paddy, but only the green stuff on the left is rice. The plant sits alongside the paddy. It’s a tropical plant, you could have one inside, but they grow big. And you hit my nail on the head…”freedom” has always been prime in my life. I needed it to feel sane, other people…well it scared them. And yes, I took 101 in February, started in Bali. And thanks again.
      Numero Uno Fim Fan

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      • A funny thing happened on the way to the forum…. I got lost. Some sponsor I am. Or, the light bulb which was supposed to go off over my head, and remind to that not all roads lead to my mailbox, went out. But today, well, I replaced it and found my way here.

        I have to say, I’m so addicted to blogging right now that I’ve forgotten most of what else I usually do. For instance, I have an art challenge I do every week. Oops.

        Oh! a tropical plant. What kind? What is the name of it, do you know? I know exact where it will fit here. in the foyer which has two whole floor heights to all for growth.

        Freedom! (did I sound like William Wallace just then? – I was going for it). But it’s the ultimate goal, and so many things can actually lead to it. It’s perspective. One person’s freedom might be another person’s prison.

        Oh good! @ having taken 101 in February, and now that we know you’re psyched out about the whole experience, and I’m sure the support would be welcomed, are you familiar with the alumnai group? There’s one which was formed for the January grads (of which I am one, and I joined this group to keep up on all the things that are going on with everyone I was there with, and to have the ability to keep learning about making the best site I can (or be all I can be – without joining the army, of course). SO, if you’re interested in keeping your ties, or making even more new and great friends, I can find out (if you haven’t already joined, that is) how to get you signed up. Let me know. All the help is there.

        Meanwhile, rock on dude!

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  7. This was a wonderful post. I commend you for being so open and sharing your thoughts with us.
    As you noticed, blogging turned into a good experience and I’m happy to have crossed your path.
    I enjoy your photos and writing and look forward to seeing more.
    At your pace, whatever that is.
    By the way, the logo is cute.
    All the best and blog on.

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  8. I can’t even explain, but this post made me smile this big ^___^. Very well written and your logo… really really cute!!! (I must agree with one of the comments above!)

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  9. I think I’m actually glad you can’t put a word to whatever caused you to smile. And I can’t explain that, but those words made me smile. And I was beginning to appreciate you, until you agreed with that creep Lucile above who said my logo was “cute.” I think next I’m going to put a pair of Calvin Klein undershorts on it, to give him a less-cute edge, eh?

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  10. Love your blog , you are a trip , Sublime ~ 🙂 🙂 bad fish love it ! Thanks for the follow , new to blogging , thought it may be more productive than social media 😉 !

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    • Right, and that’s usually the case, and the very times we learn some lesson we could have learned earlier (or not at all had we been more open?). And yes…thanks for acknowledging the “badder” not cuter look of my logo!!!

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  13. That was one interesting post. And I started to read because of the ‘Bali’ below the picture which made me curious (Yes, I visited Bali as a tourist a while ago). Normally I’d just close my browser if I see large amounts of words accompanying a picture. I do read blogs, but somehow seeing words along with photo blogs makes me run. I think I sort of feel photo blogs should ‘speak’ less and ‘show’ more. But in your case, I started reading and did not stop. Maybe from now on I’d pay more attention to picture challenges with lots of words thrown in. Thanks for that 🙂
    And now I am going to check out the “Enneagram of Personality” 🙂

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    • By the way, it is such a coincidence that I was thinking I actually knew nothing about photography and you come along and talk of ‘depth of field”. That’s what made me hurry over to check your pictures and may be find a clue to many of the photographic terms. Yeah, I have a book (for dummies) but I have never got around to using it. But I can do some basic (really basic!) post edit in Lightroom.

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      • Cool. And you are way ahead of me if you can do anything on LightRoom. I have it on my laptop, never even tried to use it. That is on my To Do list. You have a good eye for photos, simply keep on clicking…at least we don’t have to pay for expensive professional film these days. You don’t like a shot, or you messed it up…you just delete it.

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  16. I love your new logo! Very fun and bad like a hep-cat 🙂 I’m always interested in personality tests, so I looked up the one you mentioned. I only took the sample test because I didn’t want to shell out cash for it, but it gave me four numbers I’m equal in; 2, 3, 4 and 9. I’m thinking 2, 3 or 4 is probably the main one. Either way, it was fun to learn about! And good luck with your book-writing! I think I inherited a healthy (or not-so-healthy depending on the circumstances) dose of obsession and workaholicism… it can help you focus but it has its down sides like anything else! I don’t think either problem is a better one to have, just different ways of going about life!

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  17. Glad you checked out the enneagram thing. It’s kind of interesting. Thanks for visiting!! Yeah, I don’t mind doing nothing, I’ve gotten real damn good at it, but sometimes I just want to accomplish something. But I’m so good at doing nothing, I persist at that instead of accomplishing whatever. I’m not crying on your shoulder, my life’s pretty good. Miracles help me get through a day.

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    • Well, thanks. And yes, blogging is way more fun than I imagined. Love the interaction with people from everywhere, people I’d never meet any other way! Are you from Java, or you drink a lot of coffee?

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      • Haha, nope. I’m not from Java nor do I drink Java coffee. 🙂 It tells how I came up with my name on my “About” page on my blog. It’s nothing exciting. 😛

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    • Hey, you’re right. Never thought of it quite like that. I think Bali in general is like an explosion of color. Thanks for visiting and commenting.

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