ZEBRA DOVES OF BALI MATE FOR LIFE. Two of them are building a nest under the roof of my neighbor’s house. One dove carries a bamboo twig, the other stands watch. The house I’m renting sits in a rice field in Penestanan, a village near Ubud. That is, it used to be a rice field. Ten years ago, it was a rice field. Today, the land slopes downhill in terraced, level plots, but instead of rice growing in paddies, houses now grace the land, like so many wallowing pot-bellied pigs. Decades ago when the first few homes were built, it was simply a marvelously pleasant and heavenly idea: a home with a view of the vast rice fields all the way to the ravine where the jungle thrives along the river.
Today, it’s pretty much the Burbs, Bali-style: house after house in rows—oozing carbuncles of bamboo, teak, volcanic rock and tile. In some places, houses sit side-by-side so close you can hear your neighbors fart. And some houses have no view of rice growing.
Definition of irony: you pay a premium to rent a house sitting in a rice paddy—which technically, it still is—but your view is your neighbor leaning to one side, lifting one butt-cheek. In some areas, there are patches of rice growing, for effect, a reflection of a modicum of sanity, but closer to the epitome of “too little, too late.”
It is true the houses possess an interesting Balinese-fusion architecture, and many are quite lovely when viewed alone as architecture. I particularly appreciate their roofs and outdoor bathrooms full of plants. But side-by-side in what was once a rice paddy—no, that’s just wrong. That’s just greed twisting the arm of poor farmers, greed and maybe a soupçon of stupidity staring you in the face. If a person were inclined to make value judgments, this would be one place where it might make sense.
But say you’re one of those people who expect titles to be reflected in the story, and you want to look at both sides of things here: sure, capitalism fuels the world, why shouldn’t these people pull themselves up and out of the drudgery of growing rice, become landlords, join the 21st Century, buy cell phones, spend time on wi-fi instead of chasing magpies out of their rice paddies.
I’m lucky, though, because this particular house I’m renting has a small rice paddy on two sides, the north and south; a bit of jungle to the east; and…well, the owner’s house right there to the west where you see the zebra doves building their nest. Nothing’s perfect, even in paradise. But from my third-level veranda, if you wake up just before sunrise before the land heats up and veils the horizon in mist or cloud, you have a view of at least thirteen volcanoes, poised like majestic lords beyond the jungle.
Everything has two sides—good & bad, high & low, near & far, in focus & out, Burbs & vistas. The trick is to embrace both sides and accept what is. The problem is this: sometimes, you just don’t want to embrace that other side. Accepting what is seems to be a long-term learning process. It does not seem to happen overnight. It does not happen because you read a book, or meet an enlightened being, or because you believe it’s a great idea—I’ve done all three of these. Perhaps it happens in increments. Perhaps it starts with accepting small things first, like losing $700 on airfare to Cuba and ending up flying to Bali. Then you can move on to accepting larger issues—like, neighbors leaning onto one cheek. My preference, however, would be to have no issues to accept. If I were in charge of the cosmos, there would only be one side of things: good stuff.
I’m feeling a tad guilty today. Each night before going to sleep, I say something like this: OK, tomorrow, you’re going to practice yoga. Then, I don’t. I did go to two yoga shalas—Radiantly Alive and Yoga Barn—and picked up their schedule of classes. Like my friend Lisa says, “Bird by bird, baby steps.” But I may be feeling guilty because I’m looking across the rice paddy looking at one of my neighbors in the house over there beside the banana trees and coconut palms, and she is sitting in full lotus on her veranda, and meditating. And I look the other way across the rice paddy, and watch a guy send his kid off to school and then spend the day in his ad hoc studio—with floor-to-ceiling windows perfect for catching ambient light—and painting a large seascape in acrylics. These people have come to this island for inspiration, and they are doing something. They are following through with “following their bliss.” And me—sitting here in half lotus gandering 13 volcanoes, embracing guilt. Like everything, bliss is relative.
I’m also embracing some guilt over not actually traveling this summer, not actually going on an adventure, not seeing some place new and exotic, like Cuba or Timbuktu. I’m supposed to be a traveler. It’s my life, has been my life. Not vacations, not tourism—but traveling for months on end until I run out of money. And now, I’m at a point in that life where I may not be that traveler any more. I may not want to embrace the travail of travel. I may prefer the security and routine of 3 o’clock Frappuccinos to the researching of departure times of trains and planes, and the packing, unpacking, and schlepping of bags everywhere. I may no longer desire to traipse over that next hill or happen down that next path just because it’s there. Not to mention the din and dinginess of hostels or four-dollar hotel rooms. Or the flimsy seats and odious exhaust of tri-shaws and third-world buses. I’m guessing there may be a saturation point for everything in life: mangoes, illicit affairs, travel?
FYI: I would only know—from personal experience—about two of those examples above.
Guilt, perhaps also, because of my simply returning to Bali where I can predict whole days and know they’ll go pretty much just like this—
rise early,
coffee (French press),
photograph gecko and volcano from veranda,
write and comment,
nasi goreng,
3 o’clock Frappuccino and ogling main street characters,
walk to market or down Monkey Forest Road,
maybe a cruise through a rice field,
vegetarian dinner at KAFE,
an episode of True Crime,
read a chapter (Vagina, hard cover…well, it was on the bookshelf here, who wouldn’t read a book with a title like that?),
wash feet (paradise is dirty in thongs),
lower mosquito net (downside to paradise),
sleep (maybe dream of ex-wife).
And at some point in the day, I will believe I will practice yoga at some point, and at no point in the day will I do yoga. My inner psyche has obviously chosen this direction for itself, my psyche accepts what is. But my conscious mind does not yet quite grasp it as reality, or at least not with relish or total spiritual acceptance. Life, apparently, is a difficult and slightly ironic place for human beings to live.
Yesterday, though, the island of gods and demons offered up a treat for me, a little lesson in miracles. I have pretty much accepted that I’ll be getting very little “done” this summer, I am on Bali specifically because I like doing nothing some times, and I want to do nothing now. I came here to do nothing—no requisite tourist sites to visit, no treks up the volcano, no bike riding down the volcano, no jungle hikes searching for orangutans, no learning how to roll cigars, no rafts down the Ganges. Just my daily 3 o’clock Java Chip Frappuccino at Starbucks, a massage at the day spa (a whopping 7 bucks!), and maybe, say, the Pasta Pesto and a cup of hot ginger at KAFE. Then, early to bed. Watch the sun go down, watch the sun come up over a ring of regal volcanoes. I know that nothing will happen this summer, that I will simply settle in to hibernation mode. Screw guilt, I’m accepting it, embracing it, as the other side of doing nothing.
But get this. After my 3 o’clock Frapp-fix yesterday, I mounted my bike and drove toward my favorite T-shirt seller, Wayan. She was sitting at her stall, as usual, her son playing in the street, as usual. Few things change in a place like this. I like visiting her shop because when I stop by, her face lights up as though we were old friends. She greets me with a warm smile and holds my hand in both of hers. Reality is, she knows how to sell shit. I bought nothing this time, though, because I own all the T-shirts with OM in Sanskrit on them that I need right now. But I’ll probably return next week and buy one, make Wayan’s day. A few dollars buys a lot of rice for her family. And who doesn’t need one more OM T-shirt? This particular little street where Wayan’s shop sits is lined on both sides with food stalls, tiny shops, and budget bungalows. At the far end, the street narrows into a concrete path wide enough only for two motorbikes to pass, then runs out through a vast complex of rice fields, and eventually turns into a dirt walking path unfit for anything but bare feet and gaggles of ducks. There are a few houses scattered about here and there, but it’s nothing like the burbs of Penestanan, where I live. Here, these are still rice fields, not burbs.
I always like riding, or walking, out in these rice paddies for some reason. Well, sure, the rice fields are beautiful here; they run for miles in all directions, and I never tire of looking at them no matter what phase of cultivation they are presently experiencing. But it’s something more than just beauty. There seems to be a palpable energy that washes over you and somehow calms the mind, and soothes your spirit. Spiritual, in the true sense of the word.
I pull over just past where Nyoman sells his coconuts. I’m miffed at Nyoman. I’ve been miffed at Nyoman for years now. Metaphorically miffed, not in reality. He uses this antique knife with an atavistic and outrageously unique handle to cut open coconuts for people who walk out this path to view the rice fields. And a couple years ago, I offered to buy his knife from him. But he wouldn’t sell it to me, even for the incredibly high price I offered him. He wouldn’t have needed to work for six months. That’s how badly I wanted that knife. Now of course, you have to remember he’s selling coconuts to day-hikers, not performing heart surgery—six months’ pay for him is way over priced for his knife, but it’s not going to break your bank. I have a little collection of knives, a number from Bali: two ceremonial knives and a hand scythe used in the paddies. I imagine Nyoman’s knife must hold some personal meaning for him (the way my 1970’s Buck knife and deerskin sheath holds for me—I’d never sell it) because you can buy knives similar to his in the market for a few rupiah, but they lack his unique handle.
I’m going to confess something here: In the past, I harbored notions of stealing that damn knife. What’s his deal? Why won’t he sell it? Piss on him. I want it. It should be my knife. I could wait till he’s busy taking money from a customer, slip in, slip out. Maybe I’d need to create a bigger diversion, maybe employ some thugs. But that ever-apparent concept of karma saunters into the conversation, and always wins an argument. Still, if I were in charge of the cosmos and could put a curse on someone to make them do as I command…
So I’m sitting on the side of the path just past Nyoman’s and getting pretty close to accepting what is regarding knives and other people’s priorities. I’ve been out this path many times. And I’ve seen this smaller path leading off the main path many times, knowing that it went deep into the rice fields and leading to maybe two or three houses there, and perhaps a water buffalo wallow. But I’ve never seen the hand-written sign that now sits here and says that this small path leads to the main road to Ubud, only 300 meters down that path. There is also a warning that mentions that it’s slippery when it’s wet, and you could fall. “DOWN” it says…written in capital letters by itself. In many foreign countries, you see poorly-worded signs in English like this. You understand what they say, usually, but you have the desire to edit and revise the things.
The last time I was in Bali, six months ago during rainy season, it rained pretty much every day. Hard. DOWN. It was wet everywhere the whole time I was here. Today, the sun shines, and all paths are dry, although that line of bulging cumulus on the horizon with gray underbellies could hold some rain. Because I’ve been to Bali numerous times and know at any time it might rain, I carry my rain poncho with sleeves at all times, folded away in the bike’s storage bin under the seat, along with the helmet I should be wearing. I had no idea about the adventure I was about to wander into when I decided I’d take this shortcut back to the main road to Ubud instead of going back the way I came. And just so you know, the 300 meters felt closer to three kilometers. Like some people say: “you can’t trust anybody.” And apparently, you can’t trust hand-written signs.
I should have realized something might be wrong in the cosmos as soon as I moved off the main path and onto the narrow path leading into the vast rice fields. The small path began with a few flat stones, then quickly turned to dirt. Dirt paths are what you generally find in rice fields, if there is a true path at all. People who build houses in rice fields sooner or later lay down flat rocks or cement paths, so they or their tenets can ride motorbikes to their house instead of walking all that way into the field, which can get old for some people after a while, or impossible for some folks, or discouraging for anyone carrying a bag of groceries after the novelty wears away. While sitting just passed Nyoman’s, I had watched two people on motorbikes ride onto this path, but I was unaware they were not going all the way to the main street in Ubud; they would be stopping at their bungalow or the warung (food stall) serving day trippers bakso and sodas, located in a prime location overlooking the expansive fields of rice and coconut palms.
The second issue occurred less than one minute down the dirt path. I looked around and realized there was a nice photograph to take. The problem was I had not brought my camera. I always take my camera, especially in Bali: a lesson learned the hard way more than once, and even on my most-recent trip to Bali. But today, I had decided I would just “be” here. I wouldn’t be photographing, I’d just hit Starbucks for my addiction fix and do nothing, except embrace what is. I know better than to not carry my camera in Bali. Because you may walk out of Starbucks believing you’re headed home, but your handlebars will themselves toward Wayan’s T-shirt shop. But it turns out not so bad, because I did bring my new smart phone. So I photograph the paddy with the palm trees in the background, and move on down the path toward the main street of Ubud. It was a shot better captured with a camera, but we are embracing what is here; so fine, we’re now embracing iPhoneography.
I have been very lucky over the years with every house I’ve rented in rice paddies in Ubud. Rice grows in cycles, maybe four months long. In each house I rented, no matter the month of my visit, the rice was growing, and thereby creating a changing and beautiful, green vista each day. After the rice is harvested, the paddy lies fallow for a period before the growing phase begins again. During this time, the lying-fallow phase, or even during the planting phase, rice paddies are not as beautiful as they are—say a month into the cycle—when full of thick and lush green plants. Maybe it’s a personal thing, but I prefer to look at the lush of green rather than the muck of brown. But I know people who feel the brown muck is just as interesting. I’m a libra, I need beauty surrounding me, not muck. Some say muck can be beautiful if you squint. Libras abhor squinting in order to find beauty. Libras need it to be there in abundance, surrounding us.
A few minutes further down this narrow path, I come across a number of locals planting rice seedlings in their fields. There are five main phases in rice cultivation: paddy preparation, planting, transplanting, growing, harvesting. This group of rice farmers had already prepared their paddies and were transplanting their seedlings into the larger field. I call it the mid-muck phase, where it’s mostly still muck, but with tiny stems of green.
A little further down the narrow path I came across a man and woman still in the first stage of preparing their paddy. They had already churned the mud, using a water buffalo and a till. You have to admire the amount of work that goes into processing rice. It is one of the most labor-intensive crops we grow. And it takes a considerable amount of know how, preparation, and skill during each phase. At this stage the ground must be level, so water is used efficiently, and at the same time, there must be a drainage system for quickly draining water when necessary. Weeding is ongoing throughout the cycle. What they say about needing a village to raise a child is also true for growing rice. Most everyone in the village—kids, parents, elders—all take part in the process in one way or another: tilling, planting, weeding, keeping birds at bay.
I realized my acceptance of iPhonography was beginning to deteriorate, because I was again half-wishing I had my camera along to photograph this couple deep in their muck. But fine, I repeat my new mantra: “acceptance, embrace the shit.” I may also have been speaking a few other words under my breath to the gods and demons. But then, the road got dangerous, no time for idle chit-chat with deities. The dirt path turned into a couple of bamboo boards running above a small gully. I figured, fine, it’s not slippery. But if it had been slippery, it would have been a bit dangerous to cross on foot, and ill advised altogether on a motorbike. And DOWN, as the sign said, was actually dangerously down—capital-letters down. Down, meaning a steep drop-off from the path to the bottom of the ravine fifteen feet below. I walked the bike carefully across. We moved slow, the bike and I side by side, and made it with no mishap.
And then a little further along the path—Mishap Hell showed up out of nowhere. What I had just crossed was merely the appetizer. I was now staring at the place on the path that the DOWN sign must have actually been referring to. A vertical wall of stone hunkered directly to the right of the narrow path. You can’t understand the meaning of the word DOWN until you’re standing next to a vertical wall butting directly against your very narrow path holding bamboo logs for safety (but seeming more like danger when crossing with a bike), and inches from the path the land falls into a vertical drop-off. So your path has turned into a narrow ledge of land, wall on one side, air on the other. When you find yourself in a place like this in your life, you begin to understand the terms “narrow” and “DOWN” in capital letters. You are no longer thinking about editing hand-written signs.
My second thought was to turn back. But there was no way to turn the bike around. Had it been my first thought, I would have had the option. And pushing the bike backwards seemed a bit too risky. How do people end up in situations like this? Life is moving along nicely. No cares in the world. You’re meeting old friends and contemplating OM T-shirts. Then BOOM! Your lover leaves you, or a bird poops on your head, or you drop a hammer on your toe, or you slice a finger instead of the tomato, or you ride your motorbike into a rice field where you should be walking on foot and discover…just that. But by then, it’s too late—too late for whatever we should have done before. A man might want to consider whether or not karma extends to the continued coveting and desire to possess another man’s knife as well as to actually perpetrating the deed.
We cross that tricky, narrow spot in the path. I am not thinking anything as I move slowly, inch by inch across those large bamboo planks, beyond considering just where to put my foot next and maintaining my balance. I simply know that I am not going to fall. That is not an option. No falling. Definitely no falling with a motorcycle falling on top of you as you fall. The rubber handles bump and scrape the wall on the right as we millimeter our way across. I lean into the bike, fingers on both brakes, while my feet find their way as if reading braille on the trail. There is just enough room to move across like this. If I had paint, I would hand write this on the wall: If you are 5’3” tall and weigh 300 pounds, there is not enough room for you to cross this spot—please go back to the warung for hot ginger tea and return to town the way you came.
After getting across that section, the path seems to move downhill. Then turns steeply downhill. This seems worrisome (yeah, I hear you: finally, he understands his situation). I leave the bike leaning against the wall and go to reconnoiter the situation in front of us. Yes. Downhill, indeed. But it gets worse. Downhill with hand-formed steps of large stone. Perhaps thoughtful and convenient for getting down and up hill if you’re walking. But if you’re tempting your own destiny by riding your motorbike, this is the perfect place to discover just what the future has in store for your butt cheeks.
I know a few words in Bahasa Indonesia: kopi hitam is black coffee. Silakan means please. Gula is sugar. Awas means be careful. Hati-hati means caution. DOWN on a hand-written sign means down on the rock steps, down the side of the ravine. DOWN is down. Hati-hati! I keep both hands on the brakes as we move down. Awas! This is not a hill. This is a slippery slope as they like to say in movie scripts. But this is no metaphor for drama, nor virtual drama. This is drama in real time. Here on these steps, however, it would mean more drama for the bike than for me, I’m guessing. The bike is in more danger now. The bike might scrape a rock or get hung up on one. The bike is fairly heavy. If I could not hold it, and it got away from me, I would not fall down the slope, I would simply let go of the bike and watch it tumble downhill and crumble in a heap at the bottom of those stone steps. Hopefully, that’s the way things would play out, with only the bike falling, but you can’t trust someone else’s gods to take care of you in foreign lands.
There is very little going on in my mind. Certainly no room for doubt. Although that is what my body seems to feel. I sense every muscle doing its job. I’m not a big man. Nor a finely-tuned young man. I’m not completely out of shape, I’m just not the man I used to be. And on The Scale of Stupidity, from 1 to 10, I might be leaning a little more towards the higher end these days. My main thought now is that I do not want to lose the bike, or scrape it. Or worse, get it caught on one of those rock steps. Or even worse, have it tip this way and fall on top of me. There’s no Triple A in Ubud. You crash your bike in a rice field or hang it up on a stone step where it should not be, you’re pretty much on your own.
I make it down the steps. No real hassles. The underside of the bike did hit some rocks a few times, but no bad scrapes, no big dings, no getting hung up, no crashing and burning. I did bruise my right calf just below the knee and took a hunk of meat out of my shin. When it’s metal against skin—metal always wins. Small price for a blunder of this magnitude. I round the corner, and see the back of two buildings and between them, an alleyway that leads to the sidewalk and the main street of Ubud just beyond. I hear a bus, a motorbike, a horn. A Japanese tourist in a bright yellow sundress and a green wide-brim hat sashays by the alleyway. I’m almost there.
But no cigar. My mind turns itself off of its auto-pilot-survival mode, and begins to function in real-life mode again. My mind understands the problem lies just where the back of the buildings and their foundations begin. There’s a two-foot-high concrete step up to the sidewalk from the path. No way I’m lifting that bike that high. My mind now says something like: “poop.” I begin to feel something like fear, or is it just defeat.
That’s when I hear voices behind me. Four reasonable young people. Two couples of sturdy Northern European stock. Reasonable—because they have no motorbike along with them, and they’re wearing hiking boots. One of the young women is smiling, mouth open, bright white teeth: “Did you just do that with your bike?” Emphasis on “with your bike.”
“I did do that with my bike.” I now realize how…ludicrous things are. I laugh out loud. “Nobody told me it was gonna to be like that!”
“We had a hard enough time on foot.”
The four of them laugh and nod—either with the understanding of the faulty machinations of luck, or in disbelief of how foolish some brains become with age.
You always hear people say things like “keep your eye on the ball,” or “stay focused,” or “concentrate.” I’ve heard them all my life. And even though I thought I was doing it, being focused, I never actually understood precisely what that might feel like. Maybe I never had been truly focused. Maybe I actually do have ADD. At the time I was millimetering along that narrow path, I did not realize it, but as I think back now, I realize just how focused I became. And I finally understand that if you can get, and stay, truly focused, you could accomplish anything, even seemingly impossible feats. I had never felt the kind of focus I experienced while moving that bike across that narrow ledge where one wrong move meant heavy-duty disaster, so focused that I had no thoughts, no worries, no doubts. I felt no fear, though maybe I should have.
Now, I start the engine and ride the bike toward the buildings, the alleyway, and that too-tall step. The feeling of defeat is mitigated, and I’m smiling on the inside because I know there’s an impossible two-foot step up ahead. I know I cannot lift this bike—being focused is not the same thing as performing miraculous feats of strength. And I know these young folks will offer to help me once they see how helpless an old man can get when he does not plan ahead, or heed the warning signs all along the way.
And they do. I don’t even ask. They see the barrier. They understand the problem. They offer. One of the guys takes the other side of the handle bar; one of the ladies—a tall, lithe, and muscular young woman—lifts the tail end by herself. I begin to imagine that this woman, if she also has a wicked sense of humor, would make a great travel partner: a traveling man needs a woman along who makes you laugh, and can also lift the tail-end of your motorcycle by herself. If we’re looking for perfection, it would be cool if she were also a master chef and a technology geek. And totally uninhibited in—no, wait…now we’re just running off on tangents.
With little effort, the bike is standing on the sidewalk in the alleyway between the two buildings. The two young couples cheer. “Terima kasih, banyak,” I say in Indonesian, which means something like: “thank you, thank you, thank you, big time.” One minute later, I am dropping off the sidewalk and joining traffic on Ubud’s main street and heading toward my own small rice paddy and home. The island of gods and demons is just that: an island with both gracious deities and benevolent devils—where sometimes, you find the demons may merely be your own.
You can find other entries for the DP Photo Challenge here: Half and Half
You can find other entries for Lucile’s Photo Rehab here: Photo Rehab.
Badfish & Chips Cafe 
aah… an internet connection at home and a badfish post. all i need is a cup of tea and sunshine – which I have in abundance in queenslands’ warm winter.
BF, if you had to chose a country to go for the ‘half and half’ theme, bali would be the one! the islands of gods and demons indeed.
i hear you about the foreign chasers of bliss in other people’s countries do to the price of housing for the locals( wait,… thats not exactly what you said….)
and as for mangoes, i can tell you , from experience, if they are good mangoes, there is simply no such thing as too many. i know from experience – once upon a time i went on a mango fast!
cuba next year, mate – obvioulsly the world needed badfish’s take on bali, again, one more time. its always good reading. now, back to that sunshine ….. 🙂
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Hey…I wondered where you got yourself off to. Glad you’re back online, glad you found my post–because of faulty connections here, it took me forever to get it all together in one piece, and then finally get it posted.
And right…some places, foreigners raise the rents for everyone. That is an issue, but not so here in Bali, as it’s the Balinese who own and rent the land.
Mangoes: well, you are right once again. I was wrong. You can’t have too many mangoes. I think it’s actually one of those Newtonian laws of physics.
And sure, why not—Cuba next year. Because apparently, like mangoes, you can never get too much of Badfish takes on Bali. What is…is.
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yes, it is an inescapable law of physics.
just as there can never be too many badfish takes on bali, there is no such thing as too many mangoes.
Actually, along with newtonian physics, I believe it that ‘never too many mangoes’ is what stephen hawkings has been looking for all along, the unified theory of everything – applicable to quantum physics, string theory, and plain old common garden newtonian physics.
Good spotting, Badfish. 🙂
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That’s what I’m saying!!!
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No need for guilt my friend. I think travel needs to be a mixture of types of travel. Returning from our Peru adventure I can tell you not every trip could be that energy intensive for this old girl. Sometimes recharging is what we need.
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Sue, once again, I think you are right. Sometimes, you just need to hook yourself up to the charger, and chill. And Peru…well, yeah, you were moving!
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Wow… I honestly don’t know what to say after reading your blogs. Your humor and wit aside, I have learned so much from them. Don’t feel guilty. I mean wherever you go, there you are! And while these pictures are ALL beautiful, that one of the Bird of Paradise blew my eyeballs out of their sockets. Lordy it was”perty!”
There’s really only ONE thing you need to know: The oxen are slow, but the earth is patient. Same applies to us as we get older!
Big hugs!
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Well, that’s quite the compliment!! If I can make you speechless…well, I did my job!! Or…was it that you were just confused??
Guilt…yeah, I don’t know how to deal with that. I’m trying to be cool with all things as they are. Glad you liked the bird of paradise…It hit me in the face when I ran across it…without my camera. Had to take it with the iPhone.
I hate slow oxes.
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Were I a book publisher, I’d offer you a deal on making that outstanding tale into a book! A seeming benign vacation turns into terrifying machinations of survival, when on a whim, you strayed off the course of ‘do nothing.’ The ride through your psyche, and your if, ands and buts, is like a maze, or perhaps a labyrinth, because all journeys need challenges, and negotiations with the gods and demons of places we think we know.
You begin with the soothing sinking into hot springs as if surrendering to a sensual massage, where your guilt over should I and why don’t I are washed away, leaving you cleansed and new and relaxed, and, yes, accepting what is. You think your thoughts are simply within, but the Universe knows, and a simple wish for the days of yore brings you face to face with the metamorphosis from who you no longer are, to the butterfly you’ve become.
So, now it’s perhaps a time for reality of these changes.
The fact is, we all face them, but sometimes not as chaotically. YET, consider all your inner battles before heading to Bali, so you could enjoy a vacation like no other. Where you learn about doing nothing, and loving doing nothing, and not allowing doing something to insinuate itself upon you. Why? Because when you enter the Land of Do Nothing, the small print on the other side of your ticket says, HEED warnings. Take detours at your own risk.
But wait!!! what if these detours were a necessary step in the metamorphosis?
And besides, we would not have spent the last however long reading and reveling in every moment of this self-discovery. Perhaps we have discovered things about ourselves? Perhaps the words were metaphors for life lessons that might not have made sense until we followed the footsteps of the Master Traveler, who is now sowing seeds of the Master Storyteller.
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I was going to write here that your replies make me want to orgasm, but then thought Q might not like that, nor maybe some other readers. So I won’t write that here. But I like the way your mind works, and how it analyzes things, and spooky it sometimes gets. There, that’s a little more acceptable to all concerned, eh?
And I think you’re right…about all those thoughts and things I had to deal with before deciding to come here. Maybe they all led me to that rice field and those insights…and that LONG, LONG post, my longest (5000 words) by far. thanks so much for being you…
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I just picked myself up off the floor (I was laughing and I fell off)… that first sentence: Priceless! 🙂
I feel I have no control over how my mind works. Or maybe it’s just a matter of, when I’m writing a comment, it’s a reaction to what I’ve been reading in the post. SO, where my mind goes, and how it responds, is quite intertwined with the experience of reading, with what the writer actually brings to me. And you’re getting what you inspire (accept it dude! because you DO inspire).
Think back… 60s-ish, maybe 70s, and if the word tripping brings to mind something more than being clumsy, you’ll get a sense of how I saw the unfolding of your adventure in that rice field.
And I thank you, for being you.
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OK…tripping it is! Haven’t heard that word in a while. Everything is awesome now or rad. It used to be a trip. Now it’s time for a new word for awesome because it’s so overused. But the 60’s…what a trip that was.
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Time travel at its best 🙂 I’ll think about possible new words we can use for awesome. Meanwhile, Yes, in fact, “what a long strange trip it’s been” (thanks to the Grateful Dead)…
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I own a number of J. Garcia ties. Talk about strange trip. Yes, I wear ties to work. No, I don’t like it.
I think the new word for awesome should be “badfish.” You are badfish, girl. That’s a badfish view of the mountain. Man, that is baaaadfish.
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Fim, you get the Badfish as no other. You perfectly capture the crazy workings of our crazy minds, all those things we all go through that Badfish writes about so entertainingly.
reading your replies is as entertaining as the posts themselves.
Badfish and Chips, okay!
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I am honored, Debbie, by your words!
It is good to know that I’m not the only one captured so intensely by his words!
You got it! Badfish and Chips Café!
A celebration of the wonders of the world of a Badfish Out Of Water.
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Oh wow. Talk about orgasms–I mean origami. We’re going to have to use these words in the title and cover. First-page dedication is going to you guys.
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HA…man, I had almost forgot about the Badfish and Chips thing. I so love the name. Are all our comments held somewhere, so we can go back and retrieve them in cyberville somewhere?
And yeah…Fim is like the spooky psychic blog reader/commenter. She’s like inside your head telling you things you don’t even know!
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About the comments… They’re all here in YOUR blog (archives)… So don’t you dare shut this blog down!
Hmmmm spooky psychic blog reader. I like that!
Oh, and one more spooky thing here for you. You said: “Everything is awesome now or rad.” In a forum I belong to, my name (shortened) is Rad. 😛
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Your name was Rad? Do you see a surprised look on this face? Your name should be Trip. I think maybe my name should be Trip. That’d be a trip.OK, now I’m getting tired of trip.
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You never cease to entertain. So glad you’re back to do so!!
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Jo…thanks. And so…how’s it going with your blog? I haven’t been over to visit for a while!
I’m trying to get back into the swing of blogosphere. But I’m slow!
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Yeah, me too! I dropped out o site for awhile, trying to focus on a fan film project with my other daughter.
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cool…
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One more step towards enlightenment. But doesn’t that door belong in a past challenge?
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That door DOES belong in a past challenge. But I had not taken that photo during that challenge, so…only so much a guy who is neither enlightened nor magical can do, eh! But thanks for noticing.
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A brilliant read thanks so much 🙂
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Lucid…did I ever tell you how much I truly love the title of your blog. When first deciding on a title for mine, the word “gypsy” was definitely going to be part of it, that or “nomad.” I just didn’t have the right adjective. You do!!
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You really know how to tell a story.
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Thanks Lena. Glad you think so, and that you return to read this stuff!! Especially since you post every day! And that is time consuming…
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Your blog is one of the few with long english text I bother/manage to read actually. About my own postings, well let’s call it my little possetion 🙂
Your way of writing is really imaginative and I can really see the things you wright about. Thats a gift!
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Yes. Yes. I can totally picture it! Had a similar experience, but there were two of us, and we had to carry a very heavy petrol scooter down a mountain side – don’t even ask! No. It was not my idea! Sadly, there were no kind-hearted tourists around to lift the load.
Bali sounds wonderful. I can quite understand why you’d want to return often.
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CHOP…HA! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who gets into this kind of a jam on a motorbike. And also glad, I had strangers along to show up just in time.
BALI is pretty cool, a great place to chill.
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This is the first time I read your post. Really entertaining. Gladly will follow your blog after this and waiting for your new post.
Bali. It is a beautiful island and you capture it gorgeously on your pictures.
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Febriyan, thanks so much for visiting and commenting. Glad you liked this piece…it took me forever to write and load. I did not see a “follow” button on your blog??? Is there one?
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Let me check. It should be a follow button there also. And thank you for the likes.
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OK, BF, this wonderful, incredible, mind-bending post is so full of ideas and images and humor and reactions, that I might end up writing a tome in this comment. So I won’t. I do think, going back toward the top of your piece, one comes to a point where travel ends. I did, in my thirties. I went so many places that experiences were repetitious (somewhat, loosely defined). This post reminded me at various points of my time in Brazil, Puerto Rico, India and Spain, curiously. I have had houses with outdoor bathrooms, treks through perilous terrain, escapes from death on narrow vaulted pathways, and the memory of much made from pisang including that strange hooch called pisang amband.
Your sagas are a mind vacation. I immediately decided you need to publish a book somehow. It would be one of the rare travel travails I would buy. I loved this post and need time now to drink it in.
Terima kasih, banyak!
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Beth…imagine me, lifting a crystal flute: cheers my friend, a toast to all that is warm and traveliscious and made of pisangs.
I love your insightful and tempting posts, but I think I love your comments here the most. A “mind vacation”…I love that!! And Ilove that you would read a book if I get one published (which to be honest has been in the back of my mind for years. And that you are so well traveled makes it all the more interesting and precious to me. Thanks again. I’ll be over to your blog soon as I get caught up!!
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Yes, it has been on his mind for years, Beth. I keep waiting. So glad you started this blog BF, m
aybe now you’ll be convinced that a book is in order. NO PROCRASTINATIONS!
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You can always go the indie way BF and self-publish – seems like half the blog0sphere would pre-order anyhow. You could make a nice little book out of your bali blogs alone and sell them in that bookshop somewhere in ubud…….
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Yeah. Before, I did not want to self publish, I wanted a publisher to like it so much they’d publish it. But now…many people are going that route, and not paying the publisher his percentage. We’ll see….
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The King of Procrastination can make no promises about no procrastination…
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This post was wonderful! I didn’t want it to end! I loved the pictures, and the GREEN that surrounds you- on almost all sides- is a color green I wish I could see in person! I love your writing voice, and I love your “view” of everything that surrounds you! Thank you for sharing!
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Duchess…thank you so much. I’m glad you like this piece. It took a long time to put together here in Bali, with poor wi-fi, and all the diversion. And 3 o’clock Frapps.
And yes, the green here is lovely. But there are so many other colors in the natural environment. It’s an orgy for the sense of sight, really.
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I can only begin to imagine! It’s so interesting to me how people can spend their time so differently, yet understand what the other means when it comes to things like “sensory orgy”. You are living in a world of sight that your brain cannot even comprehend, and to you- that is exciting. I live mine in almost complete darkness, chasing ghosts- and to me- that is a sensory overload that causes the same euphoric feeling!
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Yes, I think I know what you mean–and I guess that’s the way it should be. EVeryone’s different, with different tastes and desires. I’m wondering just what YOUR paranormal sensory orgies feel like??
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They are so overwhelming. All of your senses explode at once. It leaves you feeling so energized
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I have a friend who is psychic…to some degree. Gets things right, but can’t really predict or help or anything…so she can’t make money at it. But she can scare you. I think your ability is different. You speak to dead people? I have experienced something paranormal…in meditation.
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I love to start browsing through a post with lovely images and then it turns out to be yours. And then I start over.
“Some say muck can be beautiful if you squint. Libras abhor squinting in order to find beauty.” This was the first chuckle and then I started to hang on to your life.
All is well that ends.
Next time I’ll know a badfish when I see one.
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Manja, HA! I’m so glad you liked my photos, but even more glad that you decided to go back to the beginning and read the thing!!! And also happy that you got some chuckles out of it. I just tried getting to your blog…but either it’s not working, or it’s this Bali internet connection…very slow, very weak.
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Ahh, no wonder no Balians on my blog! It’s working, must be you! Probably I could limit the amount of posts in one loading, I think currently it’s 12 :p To think that you wished to come over but was unable is breaking my peace, but I know you, you’ll persevere 😀
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Oh yeah. I made it…it was my internet. Soooo slow here!
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Badfish! I love this post! “…while my feet find their way as if reading braille on the trail.” Brilliant writing, while weaving so much introspection into the events along the path. I can so relate to your thoughts about traveling, the traveler I used to be, the complacency of a routine vs. seeking out daily adventures. I know exactly what you mean. But I’ve come to think that being still, staying put, observing daily life around me sometimes reveals more, or more authentic, details about where I am. It’s in recognizing and understanding those details that you really get to the essence of a place — like watching a whole village farm the rice. Not many travelers stay put long enough to learn the process, the tradition that has evolved over so many years. Would love to hear how your Cuba trip unraveled. I’ve been offline for a month or so — moving countries — finally getting back into the blog world. Will look back through what I’ve missed from you while I’ve been away. Thanks for a great post and wonderful photos!!
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So did they kick you out of Singapore? Going where? Why?
I’m glad someone as well traveled as you can relate to where I’m at right now. And yeah, even when I go somewhere new, I like staying pretty much in one place more than seeing the whole country in order to get (as you say) the “essence of the place”…usually…but not in Peru where I saw most everything except those Nazca Lines, which I’m so disappointed about not seeing.
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You can always go back to see the Nazca lines. 🙂 How is Bali today? Lucky you to be there. I miss SEA! We relocated for my husband’s job. Gotta go where his work is, and I get to tag along since I can work from anywhere. Kind of in culture shock right now — nothing extreme, but definitely so different from Singapore. And way colder, too!
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GO BACK…to see the Nazca Lines! Why didn’t I think of that? Actually, that option didn’t quite make the short list for where to go this summer. But I think I will have to return to SA, if only to see those lines.
And lucky you to get to live and move to various places. And work anywhere!!
Bali today is…ho-hum…just Bali as usual.
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Thanks for giving us a glimpse of life in rural Bali. The images are beautiful! Someday or sooner, I will be in Bali!
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Bebs, thanks for hanging out here and commenting. And reading that tome of a post! Bali is a place you might want to move up on your To Do list. There are few places like it in the world. It’s my favorite place, and I can tell you exactly why. I feel “at home” here, or at peace with things and myself.
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As everyone says, your writing is lovely as is your photography, takes me to places I have yet to physically inhabit and experience things through you..thank you! Just goes to show, no matter what “path” you take, things always work out somehow…
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Boy, isn’t that the truth…no matter what path you end up on, things just seem to work out somehow. You’d think I would have no problem living life with that knowledge. But doubt creeps in.
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Yes, I curse whoever taught humans to doubt their instincts…it goes against the natural order! HA!
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Nice post. It brought back memories of drinking hot ginger tea in Kafe and seeing a very interesting-looking man sitting on a sofa across the room from Alison and me. I’m totally with you on the Libra love of beauty thing: it’s beautiful or it ain’t, but don’t try to sell me on that inner beauty crap, except, of course, for Alison, who’s a beauty both inside and out!
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Hey D, thanks. Good to hear from you. I know, I think about our time together in KAFE quite often (considering my poor memory). Maybe because it was because of you two that I finally made the leap (well, two years later) to actually begin writing my blog, which I’d thought about for years before KAFE. So thanks again for that inspiration, or whatever it was. Maybe you owed me some karma from a past life? Or maybe it’s all coincidence? You’re a libra? Coulda guessed! Are you doing any writing on the sidelines of the blog as you travel? You still in Sweden?
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Reblogged this on My Blog News.
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Renny, hey, thanks for the shout, reblog. Love that! I tried to get to your site, but it wouldn’t work…I think it’s this Bali internet connection again?! I’ll check you out later.
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Ha, my husband says nice things about me 🙂
What a great adventure. You learned about focus, you experienced serendipity, and you probably had a much richer day than if you’d just gone home the ordinary way. Thank you for the rice growing lesson. Guilt is a complete waste of energy. Ask yourself what it is that you gain from it? I love the way you told the whole story. I was going to say something else but I’ve forgotten.
hugs from me 🙂
Alison
Oh yeah – some great photos, even the iPhone ones.
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Best photo of the post follows “we’re now embracing iPhone photography”. Beautiful.
A.
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Well, how cool, you like that one best. It was good light, and sky. Taken with my phone!! I spent a good deal of time this morning adding info beneath a number of photos but then, the internet died, and I lost all that info. Don’t quite have the heart or will to try it all again.
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You are doing the thing my wife and I always threaten to do – you are spending a long period of time in the same place. We’ve talked about getting an apartment or casita on the beach and chilling for the winter, being like locals. In the end, we can’t do it, yet.
Bali is a great place to spend an extended amount of time, I think. I can’t say that I was crazy about Ubud, but I loved the northern half of the island. Enjoy your stay cation of sorts
P.S. – Bali also taught me to never leave my camera at home.
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This was, by far, your Badfishiest post yet! The views are gorgeous. I think I would feel no guilt seeing this every day in my OM T-shirt.
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Hi BadFish, I came back from offline vacations, so I haven’t replied nor seen your links to the Photo Rehab. Sorry If your photos hadn’t been included before as they weren’t in the link, and the person who helped me didn’t see your link to my post.
Ok, enough admin.
You seem to have a wonderful and eventful time in Bali. Lucky us to enjoy your enticing narrative.
I loved reading this post. The photos are blissful and your outdoors adventures are surely exciting.
Have a wonderful time over there.
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Oh…I wondered if you were gone…or just avoiding things? Should have known you wouldn’t be doing nothing! That’s my job.
The internet was so slow, I couldn’t even link up with your site. I’m trying again today…and I’ll try to remember to get the photo into that brick wall, which I usually forget to do.
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I was gone and deliberately offline. Doing nothing related to cyber communication. It’s very relaxing.
I saw your last link and added the photos to the wrap up of today. I’m sorry I hadn’t added them before as I didn’t get the link. Not always these links work. I’ll check it on your blog from now on in case you forget or cannot add. No worries.
Enjoy Bali!
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Just found this in a spam folder! There were six other comments in there. I didn’t know we had a spam folder.
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Welcome to WP spam folder. It happens very often. I check it regularly because I had the same surprise one day. Thanks for rescuing me from bad company. Was I placed close to sellers of posts or techie things?
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All except one were not spam. THAT one was like three pages full of I don’t even know what, just words and words saying nothing. REal spam.
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So I was alone with the Sharks! Thank you!!!!
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Hi badfish,
So thrilled to have found you and read you, via my blogger friends Alison and Don.
Great post! F–k guilt, not worth the energy.
Your daily schedule sounds awesome.
Last year this time we were living in Ubud -my favorite thing was waking up to the most numerous sounds of insect and reptillian life ( well frogs yes) ever!! And that damp humid lush tropical smell.
You capture it well and make me nostlalgic.
But dude, Starbucks, really? Com on you got the most rickin awesome places there for incredible coffee. Support the local spots man, rather than big corporate business! 🙂
Namaste!
Peta
http://www.greenglobaltrek.com
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Peta…thanks so much for finding me through Ali and Don (btw…who I met in Ubud a couple years ago at KAFE, and reading them, I finally got inspired to start my blog). Right now, early in the am, I’m hearing all the sounds you remember. Many birds, also. Roosters in the distance. Doves. No motors. Bliss.
I do visit numerous nearby local coffee shops. And buy local coffee to brew myself. Love Bali coffee. And I never drink Starbucks at home, never. Don’t know why. But here in Bali…it’s a thing my mind does, loves those Java Chip Frapps! Sorry. Nothing I can do about it!
I tried visiting your site, but the wi-fi hear keeps telling me your blog is not available. Thanks again for visiting!
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Wow wow wow. Amazing collection. The way you find photographs are amazing. Loved this collection. The place where badfish magic happens looks so inviting! And magic really happens. Great story telling.
Now all I am thinking is how can I visit Bali!
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For some reason, WP held this up in a spam folder, and I just discovered I had a spam folder and that you were in there!! Thanks for the wow’s! Bali is pretty cool. You just might want to visit. You can do it fairly inexpensively. Stay as long as you can.
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Oh I’ve just became a spammer!! 😀
Its my pleasure.
Yes of course, I want to visit. I hope you will be still there when I visit 🙂
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I’m leaving soon. But I will return!
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Oh, you are leaving! To A D? Or somewhere else?
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Yeah, back to AD…where it was 49 degrees when I left.
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49! That is hot!
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Hot!?? Scalding, dude…time to leave that place. Can’t even hold your steering wheel.
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Yea.. scalding*
I can understand that situation! Are you shuttling between Bali and AD?
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Well, apparently, but rather unintentionally. Or more by default…I like it here and I’m too lazy to plan to go elsewhere. And I will probably move here for a while after I leave AD.
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Do you think I can find a work and stay in Bali for some time? 😉
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It’s possible if you have skills they need and you aren’t taking a job away from a local.
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That is right. I heard they look for people in the hostels. But I am not sure if it is very true.
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It might be true in a few, but not prevalent, certainly not in all. Probably a better chance at the beach…Kuta or Legian or Seminyak.
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Alright. Will do a background study on it if I decide to do such a thing.
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Good luck!!
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Thank you 🙂
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[…] badfish suggested Quinoa […]
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[…] BadFish Out of Water is visiting Bali […]
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Freakin fantastic post! Your writing and photos make me glad I crawled back out from the rock I was hiding under and slid back into the blogosphere….
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WELL, I’m glad you did, too, because you just made my day with that comment!!! Where’ve you been?
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Hmmm, well, Oregon Country Fair for awhile – no internet, and then Salt Lake City for awhile, hiding from the internet (no idea why), then, well, just waiting for the right inspiration. So glad to make your day!
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sometimes you just gotta get and stay away
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Bali is a perfect place to visit… Well, there are many great spotlights on earth!… I´d love to go… I enjoyed your descriptions here and the way the photographs follow your itinerary so as to say… A beautiful overview, indeed!… Thanks for letting us travel with you! 😀
All my best wishes and happy week ahead! Aquileana ⭐
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Yeah, Bali is pretty cool. It’s kind of in the middle of nowhere from where most people live. Long flight to get here. Oceans to cross. Today it rained. Thanks!!
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I can’t lift the tail-end of your motorcycle by myself, because I’m not a lithe Northern European spring chick, but I can cook. Well, sort-of. I mean it’s edible because I use real food stuff. After that, it’s just a matter of taste, for which there is always salt and pepper (as well as the really hot kind that will overpower all the other ingredients, just in case you think that’s necessary. Or, if you are like my sister, you can pour on tons of catsup). I know how to turn a computer on and how to call GeekSquad when it won’t turn on, and, being a Virgo, I am completely inhibited. Oh! And I know a couple of knock-knock jokes…wait…I…no. Shoot. I forgot the punch lines. Oh well, as you say, there are there are two sides to each scenario. But I’d love to be a travel buddy! I mean, on the kind of trip that involves staying put in one place for a while with the occasional trip to Starbucks and a tip-toe through the paddies. However, I think most people call that “vacation,” rather than “traveling.” Tomaaato, tomaahhto…whatevs (as the kids say).
Seriously…lovely post! My folks became aficionados of the stay-in-one-place for a period of time. They were not extensive travelers such as yourself, but they did move from being on the go to slowing down and “squatting,” as it were, taking only short trips to all points beyond their “base,” as my father called it. Ain’t no guilt in any of that. They had some of their best travel experiences going at it that way.
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HA! You have a good sense of humor. Thanks for visiting and sharing, LRose! Hot peppers are my favorite condiment. Never use catsup. I think I have always liked staying in one place more than buzzing from place to place. I like living in a spot for three or four months, and like your parents, day tripping to nearby places. Or even overnighting. Or even a week trip somewhere without all the baggage. Thanks again! And welcome any time.
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ha ha great stuff Fishman [well other Fishman] – really loved the line “travail of travel” – such a LONG post indeed but you kept me entertained and so i kept reading and as always your photos were really great, even when you had to rely on the phone [desperate times] and can just see myself doing something like that motorbike on the DOWN path so had to smile inside while i read it knowing how dumb i would feel if it was me in the same space…
Keep on and thankx for sharing
love brett fish
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Brettfish, thanks, man for visiting and hanging out. And right, I did not intend for it to get that long, it just kept on keeping on. And being a FISH, I can imagine you being the kind of guy who might wander with your bike down that DOWN path and end up…there.
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Finally have a time to read your post. So you have been practicing some Indonesian words. Hati-hati and Awas are important words for sure – we should put them as first words to learn when traveling to Indonesia :). Your post makes me missing Bali so much, I wish I were there now. Thank you for sharing this post and wonderful images!
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Indah, I just learned a couple other words. I knew that cantik means beautiful (for a woman). When I take a photo of a guy and tell him it’s cantik, everyone laughs. The word for handsome for a guy is Ganteng or something like that. But get this: the word for beauty describing nature is INDAH! Just saying!
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That’s true..now you know the translation of my name 😀 And the name INDAH is too popular in Indonesia, maybe there are hundreds women named INDAH in Indonesia, not to mention the name of Buses, Hotels, Restaurants…hahahaha…
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Hahahaha.
Good title for a book….A Bus Named Indah.
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😀 😀 that is, I am sure it will attract a lot of Indonesian readers 🙂
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