December 30, 2016badfish

2 THONGS DON’T MAKE IT WHITE

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.  – Frank A. Clark

thongs

The Path of Perseveration

I don’t mean to perseverate on anything. On thongs. On poop. On tats. On rice paddies. On Starbucks. On Buddhas. On mountains, oceans, doors. Bridges. Fairies. Miracles. These things just seem to find a way of perseverating in my reality, in my travels. At least that’s what I thought until I recently read an article—only part of the article, actually, as it was long…and it disturbed me, and I got distracted. The article said if you have frontal lobe damage, you could exhibit particular behavioral problems.

The article also mentioned that some of these problems may appear as ADD, which in previous posts, I’ve faux-facetiously quipped about having—because why else would I be so…effectively erratic? In another article I read years ago, it listed all the symptoms of ADD; I had every single one of those symptoms. They have no accurate way to diagnose ADD, and even if you exhibit symptoms, or even all the symptoms, you may or may not have it. I had no other excuse for being who I am, so we just had to go with poster child for ADD.

However, in this new article on frontal lobe damage, they also list the possible behaviors on frontal lobe damage. Get this, I exhibit most of the effects; here are a few examples:

poor planning (sound familiar?),

indecision (decisions are for sissies),

impaired attention (um…what were we talking about?),

asocial (bite me).

Oh and this one—perseveration (you think?).

But I particularly like this one: chronically irrelevant (They now have clinical proof that Listerine actually does cure gonorrhea of the throat).

girl with fish
Mural at Marina Mall, Abu Dhabi

So now, I’m beginning to imagine I may have frontal lobe damage. But how do you find out if you have frontal lobe damage or not when you’re in a third world and half the world away from home and real doctors, and because it doesn’t show up in an MRI in any country?

In the past, I could always tolerate, even embrace, my…um…being the way I am, believing I was slightly quirky, endearingly quirky even, and perfect in my quirkiness, possibly even superior—just so you know “delusions of grandeur” is not on either list. But now? I don’t know. If I’m damaged, and I’m like this not because I’m different and cool and endearingly quirky and superior (if maybe slightly narcissistic)…but damaged. That doesn’t sound so cool and quirky, or superior.

I’m unsure I even want to discover if I have frontal lobe damage. And how would that have happened anyway—fell out of my crib? Hit my head surfing? I was thrown off my horse, Kriya, once but went to the hospital for the shoulder injury, not my head. The article states any number of causes, even simple reasons like the “effect of anesthesia or some illness”—huh…you get brain damage from removing your tonsils or blowing your nose?

Here’s a scary thought: what if I have it, and they cure me—who will I be then? Will I set goals and plan and follow through; will I begin to give two shits about stupid stuff; will I —GASP!— be normal? See, this is why I don’t read newspapers and articles like this. It never turns out well for people who lean towards reality, common sense, or paranoia.

face with travel guidebooks
Badfish believing he might become normal

OUT OF THE LOOP

Since I don’t read newspapers, have a TV, or follow news online, I’m out of the loop regarding most news. I get most of my news reading weekly magazine covers and tabloids at checkout counters. I do know Brangelina broke up, but no details of why. I know Kim Kardashian got robbed, but no details of how or where or when. Prince died, but I don’t know the story. Princess Leia died. Prince Harry is dating someone I never heard of. Someone attempted a coup in Turkey. And that Trump thing—I know very little about that.

The first time I heard anything about his even running was when I stopped off for water while driving from Bagan to Mount Popa in Burma. I’m still calling it Burma, call this what you want—perseveration, asocial. The old man behind the counter speaking poor English asked what I thought about Trump. I had no idea what he was talking about. But several months later while watching news in a bar on Valletta’s Strait Street (formerly the red light district, now a throw-back bizarro ally) on Malta, the one thing I heard Trump say was something like we never should have invaded Iraq. You gotta hand it to him for that kind of honesty. Probably no other politician, not even a Democrat would utter those—brutally honest, perhaps politically incorrect—words, if only out of respect for our troops.

Since the trips to Mt Popa and Malta, I have read that some people, perhaps the ones with a modicum of intelligence, say an IQ over 60, might harbor a bit of fear regarding the new president. They believe it could all go haywire. The grandness of America sinking into a morass of folly. But really, how different could it be between him and, say, Reagan or Little Bush—both on The Atlantic’s short list for “worst leader of all time”, right up there with Hitler. Stalin. Lord Voldemort. I mean, did those Presidents lead us in the right direction? Perhaps, it’s simply that they didn’t warn us ahead of time. So, we had nothing to fear until we were knee-deep in poop and hindsight. At least with Trump, we know what’s what. We may or may not savor it, but we know what he’s thinking.

We may not know how good a leader he is yet, but Trump apparently is not a good politician because obviously good politicians keep the herd in the dark, unaware. Good politicians don’t scare people. Good politicians don’t say things like ‘I’m going to bend you over that barrel for the next four years, dude.’ Good politicians sneak up on you, make you believe one thing, while they do another. Good politicians would say: mind if I take a selfie with you…um… perhaps you could lean against that barrel there … no ,no, turn around.

I’m trying to stay positive about all this political stuff. The way I’m trying to see things is like this: at least we know that the guys who are actually pulling the strings now are the guys we’re seeing in office. I mean, do any of us actually believe Reagan (or even GWB) had his hands on the reins at any moment of his reign? I’ve been so apolitical all my life, that it doesn’t seem possible, to me, for one President to do any more damage than the others before him have done.

I could be wrong, but for me, it couldn’t get much worse. To me, there is one main harm these previous presidents have caused: they spoiled traveling. Especially if you’re American. A few decades ago, it was truly marvelous to be an American out traveling the world. People loved Americans, honored you, bought you drinks, wouldn’t let you buy the next round, took you home for dinner. These days, you might get a shiv in the gut just for standing next to an American in a bar on Strait Street. Presidents in the past created some bad juju for travelers.

Strait Street, Valletta, Malta
Laundry day on Strait Street, Valletta, Malta

What Some People Say

I’ve read that some people think Trump is an ass. But, show me one politician or leader who isn’t an ass on some level. You may not know this, but the etymology of the word “leader” comes from the Uzbekistan word for donkey. Most politicians try to hide their assness, but Trump seems to be just fine knowing that everyone believes he’s an ass. It’s rather refreshing. Maybe we all should simply try to imagine this as mighty-fine stand-up comedy, or Season 2 of his reality show.

I recently read this ditty: he’s filling his cabinet with his (what some people in the media are calling his “scumbag”) buddies who screwed us all in our collective butt, under those other presidents we voted into office believing we were safe and secure in a great nation. I don’t know who they are or whether or not they’re scumbags, but those guys, those (perhaps, scumbag) buddies with all that money and power, were the guys running the show before. Maybe it’s best we know who is running the show, instead of having them lurking in the shadows and pulling the strings from behind the curtains with impunity and collecting millions of dollars in year-end bonuses and building contracts, after screwing us in the butt—without the cherry-flavored lubricant.

Any argument always has two sides; otherwise, it’s a soliloquy. I say, let’s wait until something happens before we begin to worry. No President can just go down to the Texas border and build a wall, you know. And really, would that be a bad thing? OK, political correctness, mental acuity, common sense, and all aside. I mean, if what the weeklies say is true, they now want us to teach our elementary schools in Spanish, too. This is Amurica. We have one national language. Thousands of people a day are sneaking into our country illegally. Thousands a day. And staying here. Illegally. And raising families. Illegally. And then demanding stuff. And getting what they want now because there are so many of them, they now hold sway over elections. Is there something wrong with that picture?

And don’t get me wrong: I love Mexico, I’ve traveled extensively through Mexico, I lived for two years in Manzanillo, I love Mexicans, I’ll probably retire in Mexico. Two of my best friends are Mexican—they call me Paco. One of my ex-wives is Mexican—she calls me another name, as that didn’t end well, but it wasn’t because she was Mexican. That woman could make a mean fish taco. And my daughter is half Mexican. But there’s always a line drawn in the sand somewhere for us all, isn’t there?

If you’re a lawyer, you might care to introduce the notion of precedent: remember FDR? Who doesn’t love FDR? Everybody loved, still loves, FDR. Maybe one of the greatest Presidents of all time. I’d bet if there were a top ten list of most-popular Presidents, FDR would be in the top five, right up there with Kennedy, Lincoln, Washington. FDR did not build a wall at the border after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. No, he issued Public Proclamation Number 1 and rounded up the Japanese Americans—all of them—stripped them of all their belongings, and stuck them in huts they had to build themselves in a holding pen with thousands of others surrounded with barbed wire and machine guns “for their own protection” in some desert with no sewers or toilets. And the funny (not funny ha-ha) thing is that when that happened, many folks in America applauded the action. Some senators, for crying out loud, wanted to ship them all back to Japan. Americans, apparently, have always been Amuricans: each of us from someplace else, and fearful of others from someplace else—a smoldering streak of redneck lying just beneath the surface in us all.

BELOW THE TROPIC OF CANCER

But we’re here today to talk about thongs. So let’s talk about thongs. This is why I now fear I have frontal lobe impairment: impaired attention, poor planning — do you see any relevant straight line of reasoning in the diatribe above leading to the tropic of thongs? And what’s with the lady with the fish photo? And what’s this Buddha from Burma photograph doing here in this rant?

Buddha with sky

All I wanted to do today in this post was perseverate a bit on the topic of thongs, mostly because some commenters recently seemed to be pursuing the topic of thongs. But somehow, I got side-tracked. On a topic I obviously know nothing about, and care nothing about. Chronically irrelevant…indeed.

The thong photo at the top depicts my own personal thongs purchased on my most-recent trip to Bali, worn only a few times in Ubud. The two photos below were taken by Alison over at Adventures in Wonderland and display her latest artistic-style photography. She and Don are presently hanging out and posting at Playa del Carmen in Mexico’s Yucatan. Alison and Don do not perseverate on thongs. But they noticed our thread of comments and perseveration and what was happening in comments here, for instance, this one by Carol at The Eternal Traveler:

2-carol-eternal-thongs

And Alison and Don thought they’d share their artful take on thongs with us.

bikini thong
photo credit: Alison Armstrong

I like both of Alison’s artistic photos, which depict two different versions of bikini thongs—skimpy and uber-skimpy. But I especially like the photo depicting both kinds of “thongs” —foot and bikini— in one shot. In a shot like this, nobody needs to ponder just which kind of thong do you mean—you see the thong, and you see the thongs. A no-brainer, no need for discussing just what is what. A built-in perseveration blocker.

bikini thongs & fisherman
photo credit: Alison Armstrong

But I will admit that for some reason, I prefer looking at the other type of bikini thong, the ones with a little more material. Perhaps because the type with less cloth forces you to acknowledge that it’s a thong; you see the waistband, and then you watch it slither into the abyss. And even though it should be more sensual because there’s less material and more skin, it forces you to realize that there’s something being bunged, or rubbed or perhaps even chafed, in there. And you know it can’t be comfortable.

And then you start pondering the idea of waxing all that area down there just so you can wear the thing, and how uncomfortable and extremely painful that must be, and then you start thinking what a woman must endure not only while she’s wearing a thong — physical and emotional — because you don’t just slip into a thong and forget you’re wearing it like you would a sweater. And there’s all the trauma she endures before she can even put the thing on. And just what is the protocol for trying one on in the store. Talk about ick factors. And then you wander down the dark chasm of impropriety of a woman not waxing before wearing a thong, and it takes a while to get that picture out of your head.

So then, rather than be entertained by eye-balling a beauty in a thong, you just begin to feel sorry for her, and you begin to feel sorry for yourself and uncomfortable, and your own butt begins to feel a gnarly sympathetic-wedgy bung, and then you begin to get annoyed…thong-riding-up-your-butt annoyed, so now you can’t even appreciate the humor in the sight of such a white moon glaring against her previous tan line.

So I suppose we should all be glad that we’re not sitting on the beach at Playa del Carmen on the Mexican Riviera with Alison and Don and being forced to look at that stuff all day. Apparently, there really are two sides to everything.

Over the past year, we’ve perseverated thoroughly on thongs, Buddhas, poop, and other bushwa here at Café del Malceviche. What topic could possibly be next for us to languish on? Perhaps, the Uzbekistan word for “politician” which—you might find this interesting—from the Uzbeki language translates quite literally to “soiled thong”.

___________________________________________________

Almost forgot:

For those of you who missed—or those of you who miss—the persevation on poop, you might like this site: POOP HUMOR

See more DP Photo Challenge:     Resilient

See more posts on Malta:  

Malta

Another Side of Malta

See more at Lucile’s: Photo Rehab

89 comments

  3. Badfish, I lost count of the number of times I laughed while reading this. I think your frontal lobe is in fine shape.

    Thanks for the link too. As you heard from Marsha, we are in Melbourne and we’re sitting in our Airbnb apartment in the city centre waiting for midnight to come round. Our plan of attack is to go down in the elevator and onto the street just in time to watch the midnight fireworks and then come straight back inside and up to our 13th floor apartment, thus avoiding the crowds. And I’m telling you this because I am already wearing my thongs with the intention of getting me in my thongs and the NYE fireworks in a photo together. It could be a little unsightly, but it’s all in a good cause…isn’t it?? And Marsha is not sharing my thongs either!

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    • Ah…so you’re renting a place in Melbourne. I passed through there once on my way from Alice Springs to Tasmania. Caught the ferry, I think.
      I was gonna go out at 12 to watch fireworks. Woke up just in time to hear them going off. Oh well. Did you get the shot of the fireworks and your thongs???!

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      • We saw the fireworks. Our plan worked up to the point where we got to the door of our building and someone had fallen ill right where we needed to go, and the ambulance was in the process of taking them away. We had to wait a few minutes.
        I tried to get my feet in my thongs and the fireworks in the one shot, but short of standing on my head it was impossible. So I was inventive and held one thong up to the sky and photographed it with the fireworks behind it. So, technically, it is a thong with fireworks photo!

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        • HA!! I think I’d hate to fall ill on New Years eve and need to be carried away by ambulance. I’d hate that at any time of year now I think of it. You listening, God?
          But I like your ingenuity for photo snapping! Technicalities are what make the world go round! send me a copy!

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          • I think that lady’s illness might have been self-inflicted while celebrating the New Year. I need to remember how to include a photo in a comment and when I do, you’ll be the first to see “Thong with Fireworks”!

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          • Cool, can’t wait and when you remember, let me know how it’s done. I think you can put a pic in from the web, but not just one of your own. I tried that once, didn’t work.

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  4. So your frontal lobe is damaged!!! Good for you. As they say youth is impulsive. Stay youthful forever ☺and keep persevarating through your blog because I love reading it ☺
    And I just agree with, news n media is a major causes of misery and disturbance. Even I don’t have a cable at home, one of the I am able to stay so positive

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    • Prasna…HA! thanks so much, glad you like reading this stuff. And I’m sort of glad to hear you have no cable! You’re right…the news is nothing but a downer, always something bad happening. It affects your brain. Your art says you don’t watch TV too much!

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      • As I have always said I wish I could write like you. Yes, when it comes to TV I am in control of what I watch, its getting tough with so many torrent sites getting blocked… oops not sure if I shld say this 🙂 but anything or nothing is better than cable.

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  5. Okay, I’m with the majority: no signs of frontal lobe damage, quite the opposite given your wonderfully creative imagination. Alison and I laughed out loud reading your riffs on the pain of wearing and watching thongs. For my part I didn’t mind the suffering I endured on the beach in Playa del Carmen!

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    • Don, thanks and thanks again for the heads up on the comments thingy! And I have to hand it to you, you are a true man to take all that abuse at the beach and not mind the suffering! It takes a real man to go to the beach these days.

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  6. Oh the thong part!!!!! Don read it aloud to me. I howled laughing. Brilliant! The Trump rant – yeah well, he’s the worst kind of misogynist so I just can’t. Love the red dress/fish mural. Don’t ever change BF, even if they cure you 🙂
    Alison

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    • HA! I should have left off the whole first part, and just gone with the thong part! It’s all I wanted to say anyway! I would love to learn how to make photos like that mural, but I don’t even have time to learn the dang LR that’s already on my laptop!!

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  7. Ahhhh okay so that explains it. You have ADD. Not that it is a bad thing. I might have it myself. I could never sit still, and I still cannot and I jump from topic to topic… Which brings me back to your post, haha.. You did have me chuckling and probably mostly because you went from a long ramble on the president elect (sorry, nothing nothing good to say here… nada) and PLENTY to fear sadly… a lot of damage can be done in a short amount of time as we regress back to the dark ages under someone who can barely read or form a sentence. But lets stick to more cheerful topics for New Years day…..

    And yes I never say I am American while traveling, even though I hold a U.S. passport… I just do not identify myself that way and especially NOT now. Horrors!!

    Much better we stick to the topic of thongs… of which I prefer Allison and Don’s take on the topic. 🙂

    Have a good and chill 2017 Bad Fish… Ain’t no cure for what ails you, or us… the only strategy is to compensate in other areas. You do it well.

    Peta

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    • Peta…sounds like it takes an ADD to know an ADD!!! HA! You probably just have too much coconut juice in your system. And yeah…I tell people I’m Canadian. I used to tell them I was from New Zealand, nobody wants to kill them. Can’t believe it’s 2017!!! Where did 1960 go? How’s the new tub? Got plants in the bath?

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    • Well, one good thing about being out of the country (and having no access to TV or news) is that I really don’t get enough of it to be sick of it!! Or anything. But what happened to Branjolina? That bothers me.

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      • FYI Regarding thong usage and preps. Where have you been hiding all these years? The following link may be interesting to you. http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-37896963 Interesting article. The truth is few women I know don’t do it, though I thoroughly enjoyed your interpretation of the event. I might add though that I’m totally opposed to a perpetual wedgie, not to mention all the other graphic depictions you elaborated on. Definitely not my cup of tea.

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        • few women don’t wear thongs or don’t wax? I LOVED the article…yeah, go Brazil! Yeah, I can’t imagine wearing one. I did see a guy, older guy (50’s?), wearing one on the beach in Bali once…his junk was all over the place, his butt flabby and drooping. What are people thinking? It’s like you see someone with a cool hairstyle and you tell your barber to cut yours like that, and then actually expect your hair to look like that other guy???

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  9. I have to echo Alison. Who needs a cure with damage like that? 🙂 And I like your random (or not 🙂 ) photo selection. The Buddha and the lady in red work for me. You may keep the thongs 🙂 Wishing you much joy and perserveration in 2017, Badfish, and may you continue to delight us by sharing.

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  10. Wow, you had a bit of everything in this post! You sound pretty relaxed about the new US president. I hope you’re right that he will be, um… awful to no greater degree than his predecessors. I guess that would be a way to put it. I don’t know, though. I’m still worried about him. As for thongs, sadly, I don’t have much experience of those since I have little chance to go to beaches and nobody wears them at work. I’m glad you didn’t combine the two themes and have Donald Trump in a thong. Now that I would find seriously disturbing.

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    • Mariko…well, maybe it’s like you say: better to be one in a million than one of a million? That’s always been a problem for me. Also, being one of a million bothers me, being one in a million seems to bother others. Thanks for hanging out here at the cafe, this round is on me! May you be blessed in the new year all year! cheers

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      • my daughter said i was one in ten thousand, i corrected her and said one in a million, i asked my best friend to weigh in on the dispute, and she said, well , she’d known a lot of people in her life and she figured id log in at one in five million. but really, ya know, im just an ordinary girl in disguise. in thongs. the aussie kind. even they can get uncomforable between the toes. 🙂

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  13. I enjoyed what you wrote about politicians and like the way you wrote about perseveration….
    I almost skipped this post because I find your thing bikini photos to be “soft porn” and not to sound prude, but I feel stained when exposed to soft porn images… but I know many folks view this as everyday beautiful and those who love artsy nudity have their view – so I am just saying this is my preference – to not be exposed to images like this. but because I really like badfish2, well I knew the post would be worth reading. And it was.

    And the note on FDR and what he did was an example of how so many folks do not really remember or know what goes on. If you have not read it – you need to read T Harry Williams’ award winning book about Huey Long – it really shows even more flaws with FDR – like so many of of FDR’s policies were Long’s ideas. And I htink people forget how JFK was a cheating man – and then don’t even get me started on what Bill Clinton did and how our church youth group kids were talking about cigars.and the current sanctions against Russia for the hacks – well are we still missing the main point? – that Hillary still had an email scam and so it was her skeletons that were there to be exposed. My point is similar to yours – they all have issues.
    And I hope Trump can bring positive change. I think he can. Even though some of the ideas need modifying. For example, a big ol’ wall will not help because they travel under TUNNELS!

    Oh and it sounds like you are out of the loop, but in it enough (maybe?).
    but let me help you out with the Kim K diamond robbery.
    They believe it was the work of the “Pink Panthers” which I guess is some high profile crime group and they think it was planned ever since a previous visit they made to Paris.
    When they robbed Kim K at the hotel – it was a quick ordeal and they screamed something like “where’s the rapper’s wife” – and took the ring and left.
    I am not a daily news watcher, well I do try and catch the local news at 11, but I was with a 19 year old girl the day the news broke and they showed Kim K before and after the robbery. They kept showing her short videos where she showed off her huge million dollar diamonds (Perseverating loop of those fingers with the bling)
    After the robbery – she was dressed in a hoodie and sweats and ran to her SUV. The 19 yo girl I was with noted the contrast and someone else noted that “some” people learn the hard way about the consequences of flaunting. Not saying she deserved it – cos I feel bad for her and feel bad for all victims of crime – but that robbery has led to some nice discussions here about flaunting and maybe even about crimes of opportunity –

    oh and in case you did not hear the news – Princess Leia – or make that Carrie Fisher’s mother, Debbie Reynolds, died a day after Carrie did. So sad, they say of a broken heart.

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    • Y…wow! you should make a post out of all this stuff! And yeah, I have to agree, the bikini thong stuff is right up there in the category of stuff we should not reveal. Maybe Alison had a better grasp of the poor form and didn’t post them on her site?? Hmmmm. I just hope Kim K had that stuff insured.
      And what is the deal with Hillary’s emails? I have never heard what the issue is??
      I have always liked Debbie Reynolds.

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      • Hi bad fish – and the insurance of the ring is the least of Kim’s worries – in my opinion – because it actually seemed to be a traumatic catalyst for opening up other problems in her life. I am sorta like you where I am no immersed in news – especially with celebs – but I do see some news feeds and I also think God brings certain news stories my way for reasons. Sounds cheesy – but it happens.
        Anyhow – not to add another post length comment (ha) but shortly after the Robbery was when the big fight and meltdown occurred with her and her man Kanye – now I am only seeing from a window on my side of the world – but the counselor side in me knows that an upset and traumatized woman can wreak havoc on her man if they already have issues communicating – and it was shortly after this when Kanye “lost it” and went to hospital for evaluation. He is doing better now and actually went to meet with Donald trump in December – they are friends – and there was something very cool about their meeting – I am not trying to incite anyone with positivity here – but they said they were talking about multicultural affairs when you could also tell that it was friendship – there was a friendship vibe that cynical reporters missed.
        Oh I feel bad for all in the spotlight – it is quite a tough load to carry. Whether in celeb mode or public service – I know the folks want it and often fight for that status- but at the end of the day – they are still human and must adapt and learn.
        And you have not heard about the emails?
        Well maybe another reader (or news source) can provide more information – but I guess she had a private server for emailing – which is a no no – and then the phones and computers used were crushed when she was done –

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        • Prior…you really should write a post about this stuff! At least I would find out what’s going on in the world! I’d read your post, but may/would not read a newspaper! I think you’re right about public people–I would not be able to handle that kind of public stuff in my life. I’m very private…and I’m nobody! It would be hard to be somebody and remain private. So I don’t want to be somebody.
          Ah…a private server and crushing the evidence. Smart. But then…illegal? Or just annoyingly politcal? Or suspicious?

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          • well I think illegal because of her public appointment. and really do not know too much more….
            and you know badfish, if I started to blog about politics it would suck the life out of me. This is also why I do not blog about religion –
            and not to say I “never” will – but I just do not have the energy to handle such loaded content – such inciting material that is inviting debate and opposition. That would suck the life out of me and unless I got paid to do that arduous activity, I am not spending my time on it. I blog for a hobby – to keep me fresh – and actually as God leads… which might sound corny, but it was something He led me to.
            Does that make sense?
            however, I have thought about writing about the Kim K thing – because I am doing art posts for 365 days and in 2015 I had a four year old art student name her “glitter seahorse” Kim Kardashian…. it was funny….

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          • I’m going to have to agree on the not posting on politics or religion. I have no need to discuss or argue either topic. I’m not going to say any more about that than: it would be cool if Trump can do some good, and it would be good if God could send me a million dollars.
            Not corny that you were led to blogging. I feel the same way…after resisting it for years, believing it was an inferior form of expression.

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          • very interesting that you viewed it as inferior – (very interesting)
            oh and side note – the photo of you with the glasses is cool. how did you do that ?

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  14. I see the comment box is back. In the wee early hours of New Year’s day I couldn’t find it. My first thought was the WordPress censors got you. Nah. I ruled out absinthe – l didn’t drink any. It might have been temporary blindness from the nearly full moons. Finally, I just assumed the new WordPress Reader was just acting up. Nice summation of 2016. Are you considering Reddit in 2017?

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  15. Quite a read, BF – Happy New Year to you!
    Just saw that you changed to the ‘new’ (I’m catching up this year!) Badfish and Chips Cafe! Hope that they are real chips …. not those thin unappealing American fries!

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  16. Oh dear. Booty call and Trumpeting. Not sure I can agree with most of this, BF. You don’t know what Trump is thinking because he is a barstool philosopher who pulls stuff out of his arse impromptu — no thinking involved. His tweets change hourly and Putin has him by the brass holding something serious over him. Scary stuff. And, lots of politicians have openly stated for years that the Iraq war was wrong. See, you do need to keep up with politics to know this stuff.

    Anyway, as for the ADD — all personality disorders are on continua. The cluster that includes ADD is pretty well known so I think you would have little problem getting a diagnosis of yea or nay were you to return to Trumpland. Better to hang out there in your carved-out BF-dom for the next four years, I opine.

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      • I have some Israeli friends who think he will be good for the world, for some crazy reason. We will find out!

        You figured a way out of the whole mess so you are ahead of the game.

        ❤

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  20. Beautifully written again, Badfish. Would say you still got it all together – intelligent science, humour, a slight dose of nudity all rolled into one post. It is summer here in Melbourne and I have only busted out the thongs on my feet for a few days. Weather hasn’t been that warm. Sure, it is warm enough now for a barely there thong over the butt but those things don’t toy with the imagination very well, apart from all that chaffing as you so rightfully put it.

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  21. I wouldn’t worry: usually it’s the other way around. You get a crack in the frontal lobe and then nothing worse happens the entire day. Or, as my sister likes to say, if you don’t know, I’m not gonna tell you.

    It’s nice knowing that you’ve got a daughter.

    As for presidents: it’s all just smoke screen, all of them. Either so bad or so good – they are put up there so that all we do is discuss them, keep posting dog or thong photos, and do not look into the real deal. As in the case of your frontal lobe – we don’t really want to know anyway.

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    • Exactly….what else could possibly go wrong. And I also certainly don’t want to know about no frontal brain damage!! I just want someone to make all the right decisions for me. And make me dinner. And give me money.

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  22. I must have been languishing away in a Hong Kong apartment with spectacular views of Aberdeen Harbour when this post came out, and was only notified of its existence by a casual flicker in my frontal lobe as i scrawled left in my emails to read the next mail. Wait! was that a Badfish post i hadnt seen there down in blue at the bottom of an email notifiying me of a fishy comment on my blog? Did it mention thongs? Ah…. ((swipes right )) YES!

    so: the thing i loved most about this post was the photo of the woman and the fishes. there’s a whole novel in there. or at least a post. and you have been promising us more posts about AD… you could throw in a mention to Duncan. some of us do remember him.

    the second thing i liked was as a loyal and avid reader at the BF&C Cafe, i found that some people write as long as lengthy comments as me. There is a god after all!

    the third thing i like was about being chronically irrelevant. Havent you realised by now that that is what we all love about reading your posts? Chronically irrelevant and funny as…. well hell’s not really funny is it? Funny as…. a Badfish post….

    the thing i shook my head in wonder about, was wondering about the cynicalness of people who say that politicians are all the same. well they are and they are not. like some of them do bad stuff, some do terribly bad stuff, some do a lot of bad stuff while they try and do some good stuff too, to balance it.

    like right now in my country AUS,, the government has introduced this electronic thing that targets poor people and tells them they owe tens of thousands of dollars in tax, then instructs the workers at the government office to actually tell the people who dare to question their assessment, to NOT look at their files, to NOT take into account what their files say. So real bad stuff happens to real people in real life because they are already poor and the government has just made it a whole lot worse. BUT: another group of wonderful people are setting up a free online service to challenge said government.

    so yeah, now mr dt has officially been sworn in, the real stuff starts, effecting real people in real life. sure, the usa army shouldnt have gone to iraq, but does an off the cuff comment make up to destroying the health care system his precedessor put in place?

    blah blah blah. the second thing i shook my head in wonder about was you actually showing your face amidst a blur of travel books and a blister of rainbows.

    the third thing i shook my head in wonder about was do i really have the gall to write such a long comment on an old post, and then hit the post button????

    apparently so. people say im wordy. thats why i blog i guess.

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  24. What an interesting mindset you have. You might have too much time if you are contemplating the thong so intensely. Perhaps you should invest in one and all it entails to do it justice? After all it shouldn’t just be woman who wear them and men who enjoy watching and contemplating all it entails. I look forward to reading about your xperience. Cheers,H

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    • Helen…thanks so much for stopping by and commenting…and offering that insight: yeah, why should men get all the fun, eh? Hey would you tell me… how did you find this post?

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